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Rae's story chapter 2 by ~Yumi-Misaki:iconYumi-Misaki:

Categories Fan Art > Fan Fiction


Chapter 2

A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter. i worked really hard on it.

Rae watched Sesshomaru get whipped erotically. she laughed at his misery that he was facin and she like ran into the scene of the whipping.

Jakotsu, being the bitchy maid she was had been spanking the floor. whatever; she was on crack to do that.

so anyways, Rae ran up to Bankotsu and kissed him over and over until they had you know what. after that she left to go slit her wrists because it was a fun thing to do. that and it made her gothic.
©2008-2009 ~Yumi-Misaki
:iconyumi-misaki:

Author's Comments

please comment

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:iconjeschi:
!Jeschi Mar 24, 2008, 7:55:03 PM
wtf? I have to honestly say that I was as confused as Jeshii at an anime convention

--
I was B&, so what? Ain't coming back and know the truth about this site. You want to contact me, sure a google search will find me on some other site...
:iconyumi-misaki:
~Yumi-Misaki Mar 24, 2008, 8:02:35 PM
why are you confused?
:iconjeschi:
!Jeschi Mar 25, 2008, 11:05:07 AM
Maybe improve on your writting. I used to make this mistake too, where I typed in a way that where only I could really understand/picture the storyline..

--
I was B&, so what? Ain't coming back and know the truth about this site. You want to contact me, sure a google search will find me on some other site...
:iconyumi-misaki:
~Yumi-Misaki Mar 26, 2008, 12:09:42 PM
why?
isn't it just fine the way it is?
:iconjeschi:
!Jeschi Mar 26, 2008, 1:31:33 PM
Well mmm.... kinda.... if you're new to writting fics... but it just doesn't seem long enough, and you could put more detail and all into it....

--
I was B&, so what? Ain't coming back and know the truth about this site. You want to contact me, sure a google search will find me on some other site...
:icongolden-chicken:
=Golden-Chicken Apr 25, 2008, 1:03:07 PM
I see a few grammar and spelling errors up there. Nothing that can't be improved easily though.

Your chapter is pretty short, and confusing.

1) When does Sesshoumaru come in?

2) Jakotsu is a male

3) "they had you know what."
Sex isn't a curse word ya know. >.>

4) The Wrist-slitting bit.
Some people think it's fun because they are Masochistic. Though you character seems to be more of a Sadist, if she got pleasure out of watching Sesshoumaru getting whipped. (Which is still a very confusing part.)

But "it made her gothic."?

No. That's a "Emo" stereotype. It's not entirely true anyway. (not all Emos slit their wrists. Some do, but still yet, not all.)
Your character doesn't seem gothic at all.

--
Sparklethulhu. He rises from R'lyeh when the stars are fabulous. ~[link]
--
"If you must be stupid, at least be amusing." ~Sotha Sil, Morrowind
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